Look at them there now, aren’t they lovely. Noeline Blackwell, Director General of FLAC, is interested in cooking and sewing, and thinks that all Lindsey Lohan needs is a good man. “It is what has kept me on the straight and narrow,” said the human rights campaigner and advocate. “Maths is hard!”
Beside her, daring in black tights, is Susan Denham. A controversial choice for the competition, as some thought her sub-judis decisions might hold her back, Susan looked resplendent in the clothes made of intellect and self respect. “We are off to the Canaries if I win,” said the ground breaking barrister. “I hope the boys like my bikini!”
Former President of Ireland Mary McAleese is busy working on her knitting skills. “My family do seem to enjoy my domestic side, and lets face it, a life outside the home is hard to organise!” The noted agent of peace in the north went on to say that “If it wasn’t for my husband I’d be lost. Wouldn’t we all!”
And last but not least, Emily O’Reilly, whose work has shown time and time again that the institutions of the mostly male-led state are just brilliant and require no change, is eager to show her soft side. “I’m just a little girl looking for love,” she giggled. “I for one am delighted at the opportunity Miss Personality has provided me, to show that I am a fully rounded female. Hurrah!”
At the time of writing, the award for Miss Personality was given to the one with the biggest tits.