Here is the second good deed for this coming Christmas. Remember, the rule is that you cannot tell anyone your good deeds. Feel free to send on the idea of the Twelve Good Deeds to someone else, but your own good actions have to be kept a secret from them, if you follow. To business!

Deed Two: Go into a bookshop, and buy a book. 

This does several good things. Firstly, you have to leave the house and interact with the world which, I understand, they have in 3D now.

It won’t recognise Windows.

Secondly, you get to go to a bookshop and have books around you. Books of all sorts, of shapes and sizes, new ones, old ones, smart and stoopid and funny and dumb books. Think of all that knowledge and fun and stuff just waiting there for you, waiting for you to pick up and ingest and enjoy. What is wrong with that picture? Nothing! Books! Look at me, I’m giddy at the idea!

Oh, I bet they have that one I’m looking for…

And the other thing you are doing is supporting a local business, which, seeing as you are going there in person is therefore local, and you are buying a book which will make you not only smarter but also sexier to anyone with sense, and you are giving money to good causes, which are supporting bookshops and supporting your brain, and really if you need explaining on this point I can’t help you, just go to the bookshop and buy a book!

So that is Deed Two. Go to a bookshop and buy a book. Gwan gwan gwan.