Tag Archives: rants

Go Fuck Yourself, 43.

Leave a reply

Oh sod off. So yes, I am facing into another spin around the solar system, meaning that the planet I was born on has successfully completed another cycle around the sun (being married to the other half means I have to get that one right or I will never hear the end of it). You know what that means, youngster? It means another cluster of grey hairs, that’s what it means. It means making sure the insurance is paid and that the heating is on and oh my god the end is nigh.

Yes, that’s what it means. It means the inevitable physical and mental collapse of the rather marvellous thing called Claire and that it is getting less and less likely that I will ever really have a ticker tape parade to celebrate how fantastic I am (oh, look it up if you don’t know what that is!).

This is long overdue, people!!

So last night, after visiting my home town and tying the child up so that he would in fact finally go to sleep, I was getting myself into a tizzy about the fact that I was getting another year old.  I was, in that surreal way that can happen when you are so tired you don’t know your name, I remembered the Chorus Singers Jon Stewart would use to convey his message to Fox News;

 

 

So I pictured the following, complete with my own chorus singers;

I am so old

You’re very old!

43 is old.

That’s really old!

And I should just give up, nothing to left to do…

Don’t give up yet!

I mean, don’t want to give up yet!

Can’t give up yet!

I’ve about forty years left to me, at this rate…

That’s a long time!

And I could still do a lot with it…

Could do a lot!

So I may as well keep trying…

Nothing to lose!

In fact, being mature might be a lucky privilege…

Ain’t done yet!

Maturity could be the best thing yet.

That’s what they say!

Compost.

…You’ve lost us there!

Compost. Makes soil better, but it takes time. Mature soil grows more.

Still don’t follow!

Maturity might be the best thing.

Let’s go with that!

So let’s not write me off just yet.

You’ve got it made!

All right, let’s bring it home!

“She’s 43! She’s 43! She’s 43!”

Any of you got anything to say, don’t want to hear it. And I probably wouldn’t, anyway, going deaf. Young people and their music….

100 days without sugar; 86 to go

Leave a reply

New readers start here; Our heroine had successfully lost over 60 lbs, but has slowly gained back a stone. Shocked at the shocking state of her, she resolves to do without sugar for 100 days.

And that you all should hear about it, you lucky people.

Now read on…

Ah, rage. Rage ragey mc-rage rage. There is a marvelous unearned clarity that comes with rage. It lets you see and think in ways you didn’t get to do before. Mainly because those ways had signs on them, like ‘Go Back’, and ‘Not a Good Idea’. Rage cuts through, clarifies and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. It is, when you’re in a slump, a good thing.

Why did that sound so familiar?

I really have to update my viewing library…

I managed to learn that the MRA movement, the anti-woman movement that helped spawn the mass killing in the States is going to have an event in Maynooth in June. Ooh, the rage that comes when I hear of that. Because  that is all we need, in a country where Therese Heaney gets 13,000 votes and where 800 babies are found in a mass grave, a step back for women’s rights is just WHAT WE NEED AROUND HERE!

“Jesus. Chill.”

Ahem.

Anyway, I managed to get to the pool and for some strange reason not only get through my 1500 metres but to do it in good time. So go me and all my internalised rage. I both Rock and/or Roll, so I do.

Right, so that is Day 86 nearly in the bag. Very surprised at how quickly it is going! Must make another batch of sugar free biscuits soon. This batch is very sweet, and I think it might be improved by just a grain of salt or two in the mix. Will be doing another batch soon and I will let you know how I get on.

100 days without sugar; 87 to go

Leave a reply

New readers start here; Our heroine had successfully lost over 60 lbs, but has slowly gained back a stone. Shocked at the shocking state of her, she resolves to do without sugar for 100 days.

And that you all should hear about it, you lucky people.

Now read on…

After a difficult night’s sleep, i.e., being woken at 4.45 am with no chance to get back to sleep, it was hard work getting up and getting to the pool this morning. In fact, once I was there I found myself in the throws of a negative mood I couldn’t shift. It seemed pointless being there, pointless to even pretend I was any good. I should have stayed home and minded my son, or gone into work, or anything; anything but believe I was going to get any benefit out of this.  And I’m sorry to say I gave in. I got out of the pool after only 1000 metres rather than my usual 1500 m, and slid away. And as I dried my hair, I noticed another grey hair in the mirror.

Our Author discovers another reason to despair.

And oh lord are they coming out of the wordwork today. From the somewhat insane candidate to the parent of a student to who knows what, I seem to be a lightening rod for the crazies today. Wish me luck getting home in one piece, no doubt I’ll be beside the mad people on the bus!